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    Discuss Bullying with others. Start a Discussion. > I have never felt so helpless &¬†frustrated

    One Family's Story
    Callisburg ISD
    Submitted by Anonymous pending authorization to publish name
    via Your Story Link

    I read other people's stories about bullying and feel like I'm reading my own. My children are in a small ISD in North Texas and as in any small community everyone knows everyone else's business. I have a son who is 15 and daughter age 14 who attend this school and they have both been victims of bullying but my son more so it seems. It started back at the start of the school year. My kids were in this ISD for several years in elementary school but then we pulled them from it and placed them in a private Catholic school until our son graduated from the 8th grade there (which is as high as the school goes). They returned to the public ISD this year and so did the problems we thought we left behind when they went to Catholic school.

    Almost immediately the problems began. As with most of the other cases I have been reading about, they started with the verbal abuse, name calling and the like but, it didn't take long to escalate to physical contact. The incidents were subtle at first, i.e. my son being pushed over a water fountain, into a locker, etc., and my daughter being hit in the head with flying objects.

    Just before Christmas holidays, my son was in the cafeteria and had gone to visit his sister and some friends at another table. When he returned to where he was sitting, another classmate sitting there turned to kids at another table and informed them that my son had called one of the others (an African American) a n*_*_*_*_*_. This resulted in that table clearing out and advancing on my son. Another classmate informed them he had NOT said that and had not even been at the table. The kid who said it laughed and acknowledged that he had just made it up cause he thought it was funny. The kids went to return to their table when one asked another "Weren't you going to hit him anyway?" So, well, he did. right in the face. It's my understanding there were faculty nearby who did not even see the commotion (imagine that).

    My son left and went to a bathroom where he sent me a text telling me what happened. I advised him to immediately go to the vice principal and let him know and he did just that. Obviously, I flew into a rage - and into my truck - calling the school as I drove advising them of the incident and telling them I was en route! Now keep in mind this was NOT the first time I'd been to the school about my son being assaulted. This time was different though. I made it clear I would be meeting with the principal since the vice principal who was the one supposedly charged with overseeing disciplinary action didn't seem to have any answers for me except 'We're looking into it'. He even had the nerve to non-chalantly say it about this time. It was always the same with these people and yes, I know they have to investigate, but I never got any real concrete answers about resolution, just that it had 'dealt with'. I am very aware of FERPA (Federal Education Right to Privacy Act) and I kn
    ow there are some things they can't divulge but there are times a parent needs to know more than it's 'dealt with'.

    After my meeting I took my son home and as I was leaving school I observed a sheriff's deputy sitting in his car so I pulled over and advised him what happened. I asked him what I could do so he took a report from my son and myself and said he would have to go to the school and get their report as well. From there it would be turned over to an investigator. Nothing was ever done despite my repeated calls to the sheriff's office and to the school - both blaming the other side for being the reason nothing was happening. Of course this is business as usual up here for our local law enforcement (that's another subject). I believe it's more of the 'boys will be boys' attitude.

    My son felt like nobody cared and nobody had his back at the school so he attained the attitude that nobody cares so why bother reporting it. It has affected his school work as well as his demeanor. He has a hard time concentrating most days because he's worried about being jumped.

    This time (this week April 20 and April 21), he was attacked and choked down 2 days in a row in the same bathroom by the same boy (at the instance of another boy I might add). When I learned of it I again made my way to the superintendent's office and the principal's office as well. The principal had the audacity to actually attempt to blame my son for it. The entire time I was in his office he bore a smirk so I felt it again would not be taken seriously.

    I have never felt so helpless and frustrated in my life. The only thing I can think of is if we don't band together as parents and work to change the system and its attitude nobody else is going to do it either. The avenue that comes to mind to me is that we have to get to the polls and vote, vote, vote. If your school board that's in place now isn't going to take action, then with every election, replace it with people who will. The boards are elected, the employees of the district (including admin) are hired so that's where the change has to begin. I can tell you that's where I'm starting up here.

    Our children shouldn't have to go to school afraid and we shouldn't have to be afraid to send our kids to school. How many more kids are going to have to commit suicide or bring guns and/or knives to school to defend themselves before there is an overhaul of the system?

    May 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranonymous

    Your experience in your son's school is more typical that one might imagine. The first priority for school administrators should be to listen carefully for as long as it takes to understand the problem. Many times, a principal will go into a meeting with a preconceived answer and fails to listen effectively. Most parents just want to believe that someone at their school will at least sit down and listen to them and, hopefully,bring the right people to the table to begin to solve the problem. Unfortunately, there are times when school board action is needed to get administration to listen. The best way to initiate board action is to assemble parents in an organized, professional manner to attend a school board meeting and collectively voice their concern, then insist upon action.

    May 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterA Former Principal