This form does not yet contain any fields.
    Admin Login

    Discuss Bullying with others. Start a Discussion. > From a Mom of 2 Teenage Boys / Birdville Independent School District - Haltom City TX

    I am writing this as a blessed parent of two young men who have been victims of bullying, and also as a victim of bullying myself. I hope that this story can help someone, anyone, that may feel as though they are all alone in their struggles. You are not alone. So many walk or have walked in your shoes and it does get better. Hang in there!


    I was born and raised in North Eastern Pennsylvania. The daughter of a young mother, and a father that passed before I was born. I stayed with my mom, my grandmother, and some aunts and uncles for the first couple years of my life as my mom finished high school and went on to work. I come from a family filled with love. I remember my mom singing to me every night when she would get home from school/work. I remember my grandmother reading to me and playing games with me. I remember singing and having fun with my aunt. I was pretty advanced by the time I went to school. The school wanted to skip me from 1st to 3rd grade. As I continued to grow, my eyes started going bad, and I started growing taller than the rest of my class. My mom and I were out on our own by this time, and she had made a few bad choices in partners for a few years so we moved around a bit.


    I remember the first time I was bullied was in the 3rd grade. It was my first day to yet another new school and there were some mean girls there. I remember their words and how they hurt to this day still. From there it just got worse. Throughout the rest of my elementary years I was called names, terrible names, made fun of, punched, pushed, and threatened. I survived.


    I made t to jr/sr high. That’s when I started riding the bus. I was dragged to the back of the bus numerous times to be fondled by the boys. I was also called names, and hit and punched frequently on the bus as well. Class wasn’t much better. More of the same. Those words. The words are what haunt me to this day still. I had my face slammed into a desk right in front of a teacher, shattering my glasses. Nothing was done. I was told that the only “pecker” I would ever get, is if I bought a pet woodpecker. I was called medusa, and plenty of other terrible terrible names. I never wanted children at that age. The thought made me sick to my stomach. I remember not wanting to subject any other human beings to the pain that I felt every day. To this day, when I look in the mirror, the person staring back at me is the person that was described by the hateful, hateful words spewed from my classmates mouths. To this day, I am not comfortable in crowds. I have few friends. I prefer to be home, with my family and not be social.


    As I grew into a young adult, moved out on my own, worked, and found good friends to hang out with life got better. The painful words were still on my mind, but life got better. I started a family of my own, and promised myself I would not let these kind of things happen to my children. That I would teach them to treat others as they wished to be treated, to turn the other cheek, to be confident and outgoing., to be thoughtful and considerate, to be caring and compassionate. I worked hard to teach them not to judge by size, shape, color, or beliefs. I wanted them to experience life so much differently than I did as a kid. I wanted them to be “normal, “ something I never felt I was.


    Let’s start with Gage, my oldest. He actually did not have much trouble at all in elementary school. I thought I really did something right for a change! Then we hit middle school. The names started. “Fag, Queer, Homo” and were quickly followed by the physical abuse. Pushed into walls, punched, tripped. He also had had glasses smashed into his face and got a black eye. He went to the nurse for help fixing his glasses and told her what happened, by the time I found out and brought it to the attention of the vice principal… the nurse had no recollection of what occurred. Gage was constantly taunted. Rocks thrown at him during Phys. Ed. He had his gym clothes stolen a few times, and even his gym locker lock urinated on. One child managed to stab my son three different times with mechanical pencils over a years time. I went to the police department on a few occassions, only to be turned away. I came so close to losing a couple of jobs, due to all of the time I had to take off to deal with the issues that were occurring at school. My intelligent, well rounded, mild natured son soon became a child that worked super hard to not be noticed. He withdrew from participating in any classroom projects. He wouldn’t even raise his hand to answer questions. To this day, he is still withdrawn. He is jumpy when anyone reaches out to touch him or hug him. He is judgemental. He is still my sweet baby boy on the inside, but that is buried by the pain that caused him to change into what he is today. I miss my boy.


    My other son, Caine. Wow! It started for him shortly after he started kindergarten, and is still going on strong now that he is in 7th grade. He was sexually assaulted by another student in kindergarten. It started with forceful kisses, which were brought to the teachers attention immediately. Next came the groping under the tables, which again was brought to the teachers attention. And then, my son, was dragged against his will past three teachers on “guard duty” at the playground (almost daily), he was pinned with his arms behind his back against a wall, and fondled until he would pee himself by this same boy. This went on from kindergarten, through the first part of first grade. Caine never told me what was going on when the bad stuff happened. When it all came out, he told me why. This child told my son that if he ever told, he would hurt him. I had to fight to get this child removed from the school. I had to be the one to call CPS. The child admitted to everything. To this day, the school hasn’t put any of it in my son’s transcripts.


    From there on, kids realized my son is a “reactor”. He is not physical, but he will be dramatic with his actions and words. This is amusing to many children. Not so amusing to faculty and staff. He was called terrible names through the rest of elementary school. At one point in time, one child called another child at home one evening, pretending to be my son. He told this child that he thought his “butt was sexy and that he wanted to kiss it….” This child’s grandmother called me furious over what “my son did”. I assured her that at the time this call took place, my son was sound asleep in his bed, in my house. That wasn’t good enough. She was fearful for her grandson, and the other students of the school. To make a long story short, the boy that did the calling was actually a friend of the other child that received the call. All of the sudden, everything was okay with grandma. As a fifth grader, he got to go to camp with his class for a week. Should be a great experience, and he did have some great times. We just pulled out the video from camp this past weekend and watched it. I listened to my son tell me all of the good memories, and then mention how terrible it was that the kids were mean to him there. They called him names, and excluded him from games, or they left him behind, even when he was part of their team. It made me very sad inside. I can only imagine how it made him feel.


    We get to sixth grade. WOW! Caine has been punched, pinched, slapped, chocked, pushed, poked, tripped, and several kids attempted to crush him with a piano. He is called, queer, fag, homo, gay wad, gay girl, tea bagger, lesbian and all kinds of other names. They also like to call him all kinds of lewd names in other languages as well. I go to the school, call the school, I get involved every time! I have filed grievances, to have them dismissed. My son filed over 40 incident reports over the sixth grade year, a small fraction of what he could have filed. He has addressed the school board, as have I. His bullies were numerous, and as bad as that was, even some of the teachers joined ship and taunted him. Caine got plenty of detentions, in school suspensions, and out of school suspensions because his way of dealing was to just shut down. He wouldn’t’ do his class work. He hid behind a reading book all of the time. These are just some of the things that he faced on a daily basis.


    Things in the seventh grade are not any better. I am at my wits end with this. I never wanted this for my children. I did my job to try to make them “better people” only to have them lost in a world of hate and pain. It breaks my heart to send him to school everyday, knowing he is going to be attacked in some way at some time through the day. I just keep praying he is stronger than I ever was, and that he will make it through. It is so frustrating to have your hands tied by the laws, or lack of laws in some cases, that govern the public school system. I’m tired of the “he said, she said” stuff. I’m tired of the “investigations” that lead to a handful of friends stories against my son who is telling the truth. I want both of my sons back. It’s not fair that Caine is now defensive all of the time, at home, play, and school. He doesn’t apply himself to his schoolwork like he can and should. He even tried out for gymnastics this year, so excited to do so as he has wanted to be a gymnast since he was two. It lasted two days. He cannot trust, at this point in his life. He cannot fit into a “team sport.” He can’t even fit into a social situation with comfort.


    However, I know, that no matter how hard things seem to be right now. No matter how frustrating it gets, for myself and for the boys, it will get better. That is what I keep telling them. It will get better. Although the pain of the words you heard may be with you the rest of your life, and you may have a terrible memory here and there that lingers…. It will get better. You will be someone. You will be loved, and you will love. You will find success on so many levels. Hang in there… hang in there!

    May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

    you were right things will get better and they just got better! PROMISE!!!

    this was the post i shared on facebook about 2 hours ago and BOOM peggy lynn responded and found you ! I AM THRILLED BEYOND THRILLED!! look forward to meeting and talking to my new hero CAINE SMITH!
    call when u r ready 928 554 5477 cell

    Looking for help to reward caine smith with his bullying project may have some celebrity's on board with me!

    please help me find caine smith, i am a major label record producer and would love to thank him for what a strong amazing kid he is, and to thank him want him to come to my recording studio in nashville tenn and see if maybe doing what i do when he grows up would interest him, i would love to mentor him and be a big brother HAVE HIM OR HIS MOM CONTACT ME IF SHE CAN SEE THIS!!! 928-554-5477

    www.http://facebook.com/michael.lattanzi.75

    my studio
    www.http://Lattitudestudio.com

    December 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermichael Lattanzi

    that was actually the email i sent newspaper and mayor of your city

    December 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermichael Lattanzi

    this was facebook that peggy saw and many others

    Michael Lattanzi
    2 hours ago · Edited
    Ok Facebook community help me track this brave kid down and his mom I have a few good leads but want to bring him to nashville and have him come to my studio and teach him a bit about what us producer/writer/engineer/mixers do, maybe he would love it so much he may want to do it for his future once introduced to the world of music!
    I also would like to invite my celebrity friends artists fellow colleagues to thank this boy Caine smith for dealing with the way he is bullied everyday and he flipped it into a positive thing however hard I am sure it still is for him, so wadda ya say who wants to sign on if we can find him and fly him out to Leipers Fork / nashville and thank him for what he is doing to help end BULLYING, nobody should ever be bullied because of some low lifes ignorance just for being who they are!! never change who you are the bully's are the ones we need to change!!
    ROCK On Caine Smith!
    PLEASE SHARE NOW don't be lazy and my friends who don't I guess don't get how serious this is!!!! I want to mentor this kid and be a big brother to him if he would like!!!
    Michael Lattanzi

    http://www.upworthy.com/this-kid-was-bullied-a-lot-he-could-have-told-his-teacher-or-his-principal-he-had-bigger-plans?g=3&c=reccon1

    December 6, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermichael Lattanzi

    Michael,

    I have forwarded your requests to Caine's Mom.

    Christine
    BullyPTA

    December 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

    Boy howdy.... I sure wish this boy had been around when I was a kid..... I lived in fear every school day and if I was out anywhere and saw "the monster's" I would literally get physically ill... Being 43 now and having kids of my own putting them in school was the scariest thing I ever did... I don't think people think how bullying effect's the ones getting bullied and for how long.... I had to see a therapist .. My 25 yr high-school reunion is this month (July 2015) ... Would Love to go but don't want to deal with the S%:!... Please let your little boy know he is cared for by hoards of people like me.... Take care...

    July 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLisa